Letter to God

Thompson was right
to name you "the hound of heaven"
the way you pursue, the one you choose.
and I, your prey
who flees from the hunt...

To what can I liken you?
so unique in your love and so fervent
constantly tracking my scent
unhindered by my defenses
and disguises.

Terror stricken,
I feel you in the shadows
I hear you on the breeze
pursuing...
hunting...
constantly, faithfully
you pursue your beloved.

while I flee from divine love
as if your love would tear me
piece my piece
ripping flesh from bone.

But you see me
no matter where I run
like a keen hunter
you know where I am

while I foolishly stoop beneath the brush,
holding my breath--
how could one believe that they could
hide from you? 
you see it all!

I think the terror comes
in knowing my own true nature.
The weakness, the ease of falling into sin
the love of the world, the fear of letting go.

The pain of it all, is knowing that if I would just let go...
let go and trust
that your love would so envelope me
that I would be stricken by it
for is is so penetrating and pure...
so forgiving and completely unhindered by my imperfections
and I would find that perfection and peace I long for.
I would find that person inside
that you created me to be
and I would not have to exhaust myself
day after day
failure after failure
of trying to do it all on my own.