Darker Parts

I turn over each morning

with a deep inhale, the musk of sleep

stale on my skin.

I start every day

with wrinkled sleep lines

from the night before

with a flattened, empty tummy

and I think

How the hell do I stay alive this way?

And I think…

How the hell can I do this by myself?

But there is no answer

Only question after question

after question

Breathe In

I start each day

wiping the sleep

from my eyes…

noting the way

my lips are always dry and chapped

as if I’ve been talking to you

all night.

Breathe Out

And I remember the feel of my dreams

Was that you?

Why have you suddenly grown silent?

but it makes sense

all over again, each morning.

I remember….

I will have nothing left of you

once I push the sheets back, letting the warmth slip out.

Breathe In

I wake up each morning

somewhere between what I’ve been dreaming

and what I’ve been living

and ever so often I find myself crying

but I never quite remember who or what it is I am crying for…

I can only see blurs of my

two

small

hands

and my heart is beating

so damn fast…

I am out of breath

I can’t remember…

I only see blurs…

and it feels so cold here

Like the darker parts of the ocean…

Like I’ve been talking to you

all night

with no reply

and I can’t remember why…

I am

out of breath.